Le Sequoit

Round Up the Usual Suspects

Still awfully busy, though I can't blame my inactivity here solely on that. In truth, I've been going through a disenchanted period, uninspired by events as the "war" drags on and conservatives pound law after directive down in the effort to empty our pockets as much as possible during the remainder of their carte blanche days. I'm still reading though, currently on about chapter 55 (sheesh) of Clinton's My Life.

Remember when Clinton was being accused of wagging the dog because his attacks on Al Qaeda targets coincided with the Lewinski testimony etc.? Well now, looky what we have here. Those Molson's swilling, standing in line at the clinic Canadians/Canadiens have gone and arrested more real terrorists in one day than we have in the entire War That Will End When Hell Freezes Over. $41 billion for the Department of Homeland Security and Dudley Do-Right is getting all the bacon!

And so I imagine this phone call:

―Say, uh, Gonzo, those gol durn Canucks is gone and stole the whole mother lovin' show here. Jesus H., we gotta grab the reins PDQ. Who ya'll got we can kinda, heh heh heh, toss under the tracks pronto, like? We got anything?

―Let me see, here ... best I have right now is this loony bunch of Haitians down in Miami. Weird bunch, and not a lot on them right now. No weapons, money. Just a lot of talk.

―Big talk?

―Told our guy they want to blow up the Sears tower.

―Sears tower, eh? That a big un? Where it's at?

―(Sigh) Biggest we got. In Chicago, sir.

―Haitians, eh? Got no Al Qaeda? Nuttin?

―Well, they've been trying to shop themselves to Al Qaeda.

―Now, that's somethin'. How do we know this?

―Our guy is their Al Qaeda.

―Say, Gonzo, heh heh heh, ya'll gotcherself a one stop terrorist shop over there, dontcha? Ah remember somethin' from second year 'bout en-trap-ment, but I guess these guys ain't likely to be seein' their day in court, heh heh heh.

―Not likely, sir.

―Still, sumpin's got me a little queasy 'bout it. I mean, no weapons, no money, no backers, and the only talk we got is braggin' to our own Al Qaeda imposter. How many dumb fuckers out there gonna buy this?

―More than 29%, sir.

―Heh heh heh heh heh. At's a corker, Gonzo. Ya know what ya'll are? Ya'll one a them sleepers. 29%, heh heh heh. I gitcher point. Yep, ya'll got some brass ones, too. Yer lucky Rover's in good mood today, Gonzo. You go on ahead now and leggo the hounds on these guys. Lemme know the hour so's I can have the bases covered 'round here. And don't make it too late, ya hear? More than 29%, heh heh heh, It's a goddamn good thing I don't have ta run on that slogan, heh heh heh ...You're doin' a heck of a job, Gonzo.

―Uh ...thanks, sir.

posted by sequoit @ 11:25 PM