Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is.    The Honorable Governor of Texas, George W. Bush

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Friday, June 09, 2006

Kick This Around

The Little Hun was telling me a story over ribs, spuds and asparagus about how a supplier for her shop, call him Dieter, called in from Munich today with a rather sudsy report on the World Cup opener. To which the response around the shop was apparently, ... oh, that's nice.

We Americans take a beating, likely deserved, for our provinciality. But this time I think we have it right. The FIFA World Cup "soccer" tournament is the ultimate stupidity in a stupid sport.

All right, all you soccer moms. Think I'm wrong? Let's line you up along the "goal" line. I'll put my golf spikes on and go down the line kicking each one of you squarely in the shin. How's that feel?

Of course, that kind of pain goes away, not like the brain damage from heading a ball, or worse, another head.

Ah, but then there's the pageantry of some rich Costa Ricans flying to Munich to see the national team go up against Germany. 'Cause if there's one thing we just don't have enough of in this world, it's nationalism.

Was I inspired by some prima donnas from the Boston suburbs prevailing over an under-funded Russian Army team in the "Miracle on Ice"? Oh, yeah, that was wicked awesome. Now let's invade Grenada. USA ... USA ...

But these are filler, the crux is this:

We have hands. We can do the most amazing things with them. We can communicate with them. Create tools with them. Love with them. Hurt with them. Express our most complex artistic sense with them.

And so the world is going to tell me that they have the ultimate athletic contest in the World Cup. This is the premier showcase in all of team sport?

You just can't use your hands.

That's just plain stupid.

1 Comments:

At 10:45 AM, Blogger Bullock said...

Mmm.One can tell that you have never seen a live 'football' game.You use your hands on throw ins, on placing the ball on free and corner kicks and the goalie can use them any time he wants.But mostly, you use your feet, hence the name football.
The English originated the game and through their colonialism, spread around the world.Americans are late to the sport and because they didn't invent it, often turn up their nose at it. Pretty provincial, don't you think? Petty Americanism.
I have a Latin customer who once described an incredible atheletic feat that wasn't in a game. Seems that Valderama, the former Columbian midfielder star player, at a World Cup game made an entrance by dribbling(juggling on one's feet) one ball on each of his (2) feet and one on his head as he made he way to midfield in front of, say 70K fans.Not a ball touched the ground. Circus act, you sneer but a feat(sic) not easily paralleled.
You may like the game or not, but you have to appreciate the atheleticism of these players, coming from dirt-poor countries, where they say, bad field conditions give them an advantage.I like that, gives me a reason to cheer, even if I can't understand the announcers.
Think I'll go hackysack with my daughter. She's pretty good at it,using skills gained from 10+ years in some of the most competitive girl's competition in the country.Soccer helped make her into an all-around athelete; track, cross-country and rowing followed.
Can't do that with golf, can you? Talk about stupid...

 

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