Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is.    The Honorable Governor of Texas, George W. Bush

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.    Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Oh, the Weather Outside is...Unremarkable

The chance of rain today is 30%. This follows a period of two weeks of "scattered" storms, the average prediction being something like a 45% possibility of precipitation. During this period we've received all of a quarter inch of rainfall. Now, I follow the weather a lot, and I know the non-dramatic periods, times when no particular broad trends are present, pose a lot of difficulty for forecasters. However, I can't help but feel that the coverage is a bit over-dramatic, that there is a little of "Stayed tuned, in the next segment we may come up with something interesting," in all of this. Setting a record for "doppler indicated" tornadoes is beginning to sound a lot like the boy who cried wolf. Who really takes shelter when a "severe" storm alert mangles the enjoyment of a quiet Sunday afternoon's Cubs game?

And this is just the first guard, the observational players in the weather game. Up the food chain we find the media weather machine. There's nothing like Storm Team 4 to liven up a slow news day. Stay tuned, stay tuned, stay tuned for further updates on the possibility that numerous lightning may accompany that thunder you hear coming. Tomorrow is an "ozone alert" day, so let's just all what, stay home?

I kinda liked the original cable TV weather, which consisted of the local radar screen and the NWS ticker. See that big blob over there? It's getting bigger and it's headed our way. Gonna rain. And incidentally, tornadoes don't sneak up on people who are awake, they come complete with their own warning. When you hear one, you will figure out that it's time to go to the lowest area of your home and try not to shit your britches.

But my oh my, we all stay tuned in one way or another, cuz we crave the drama. Back and forth we go between Fox News and the Weather Channel, ever on the alert for dime size hail threatening our roofs or terrorists darkening our door. Stay tuned, stay tuned for the latest on how many different poisons Al Queda could toss into the Rockford water supply given half a chance. In our next segment, learn how criminals are STEALING YOUR VERY IDENTITY. On tomorrow's show an expert will tell you 20 reasons why should never let your daughter out of the house again. Have a good day. The terrorist alert level is WATCH OUT!

Even in Iraq, where the terrorist alert level is infrared or so, a man can walk up to a crowd, push a button and scatter body parts all over the street. Hail will land where it will land and lightning may strike miles in front of a storm. All the alertness in the world won't make you safer, only crazier.

Turn it off and sit down with a good book. If a storm happens by, lie back and listen to it. It'll tell you all you need to know.


At 10:02 AM, Blogger Bullock said...

I read recently that insomnia is on the rise. Another insecuity and probably another medication to deal with.With all the anxieties that people are accumulating these days, who needs another issue like weather to worry about?
It is Friday, mid-June, lovely time for southern CA despite the 'June-gloom' off-shore cloudiness we always get and the last 2 weeks have been weather-event packed. Well, 4 earthquakes, 1 tsunami warning and a landslide don't exactly qualify as weather events but, heck, that's why we live in CA.Diversity rules.Shrug it off and move on. Be aware but not afraid.Some god-force somewhere loves you, shines a light on you and wants you to live, right?
Enough of the gloom and doom, more bloom and zoom.


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