Aged to Perfection ... Irrelevance
If one Googles "wisdom of elders" there are, of course, quite a few hits about Native Americans. There are numerous referrals about African culture, and Indian, Chinese, Japanese, South American, Hebraic, and many, many others. Noticeably few hits―especially considering that the search was done in our language―are links to our own culture.
In one of my current haunts, the Daily Kos, posters and commentators are reminded often when they are being disrespectful of others' lifestyles or other cultural identities. Sexism, gay-bashing or other such conscious or less so intolerances put forth in this huge community will bring, like inevitable white corpuscles descending on bacteria, gentle to not-so-gentle remonstrations, occasionally leading to banishment by the referees for flagrant abuse. The clever design of the comment ratings system keeps the site remarkably civil in tone, considering the generally invective laden blogosphere. The tone is decidedly left, to be sure, but makes no bones about it. Many would think this sensitivity a bit too "politically" correct. This is a nonsensical argument. Correct is correct, politically or otherwise. Anything short of correctness is incorrect, regardless of political focus.
However.
Such generosity of effort to consider the feelings of others seems to skip a beat when it comes to age. Oh, for sure there are excellent and heart rending posts about the trials of older family members and the difficulties with health care and social security and such. But there is little outrage when someone suggests that "wrinkly faced has-beens" like Ted Kennedy should step aside and turn over the leadership of the party to new blood. A November dust-up over Cindy Sheehan describing her ordeal as a "trail of tears" and the subsequent outrage of a Native American elicited thousands of comments in numerous posts, but constantly there are references to "those old farts" and "aging hippie pipedreams" and "doddering old fools" that raise few eyebrows.
Here's an Kossack example, from just last night. In a comment about Imus and his cohorts this champion of one of the most respectful and dignified politicians on the scene commented so:
... don't listen - never will - won't pollute my ears and eyes with either (sic) aging petrified impotent worms...
It's not that difficult to endure such short-sightedness. We've been parents for a long time. I applied for a management job at Best Buy a couple of years ago, more for practice than anything else. The interviewer actually asked something very close to this:
I like to come to the point, so let me ask you ... um, you're quite a bit older than other applicants we've had. Do you think you'll be able to maintain the pace?
That was pretty much the end of the interview, as I just kind of smiled, grabbed my jacket and walked out, vowing to always bring a dictaphone in the future. The sheer stupidity of the question was, on so many levels, enough to make it quite clear that I was barking up the wrong tree. I wanted to say:
I work out six days a week. I can shovel 6" of snow off the driveway and not feel my heart or have to stop for breath. I've been working on my feet in sales and construction for 30 years. I can kick your butt in chess, Scrabble, HORSE and long driving. I can grab your ass and toss you out that fucking window, you 30 something, Dew-sucking, chain smoking sack of yesterday's greasy french fries!
Incensed I was, but I didn't say anything like that. Why? Because wisdom prevents it. You either have the sense to realize that someone who has been in the world twice as long as you might have something to contribute or you don't. Most are surprised at thirty to realize how much they still feel like that fifteen year old kid, yet so many cannot make the connection that this phenomenon never goes away. Age is the frame; the setting. Life is the art; the dialogue. Though age is an element, it needs not to be, nor should it be a distraction to the appreciation of a person.
Some get it from the start. There are always one or two of your kid's teenage friends who stop in your kitchen on their way to the hangin' out place. Kid's who remember that your mom is under treatment and ask how things are going or actually offer information about how their life is going. Curious kids, not limited in view to the qualities of the stage of life they currently inhabit.
And when you see one of those endearing, eternally loving couples, or the retired guy who always shows up at the diner with a joke and a smile (and a tip) for the waitress, or the seventy year old woman at Wal Mart who hustles to help you get a cart while you corral two toddlers and load an infant, guess what?
Those are those same kids.
posted by sequoit @ 11:37 AM
3 Comments:
i see that you chose to extract my comment (made here on dailykos)out of context. perhaps you should have included the full statement and your reply and mine to you!
the absolute last time i listened to (none / 1)
those human feces was during arafat's funeral - where they laughed and hooted it up with their pathetic garbage
commentary.
edrie on Fri Jan 20, 2006 at 06:22:52 PM PST
[ Parent | Reply to This ]
thank you (none / 0)
I was looking for a suitable quote for my blog post about how all this "aging petrified impotent worms" "wrinkled ass" shit goes on in a site that otherwise provides itself on inclusion and respect.
where are the artists?
where are the poets?
by le sequoit on Fri Jan 20, 2006 at 07:06:31 PM PST
[ Parent | Reply to This | ]
i was actually biting my tongue and (none / 0)
holding back from what i really think of imus and his lackey.
the shameful, offensive and crass coverage of the funeral of yassar arafat made me wish for censorship privileges - and borderline made me wish for capitol punishment!
his behavior that day was so outrageous that he deserved to be removed from the airways - his "performance" was beyond redemption. he should have been fined by the fcc and fired by those stations who aired his program.
from robertson's proclaimations and call for assassinations of world leaders to imus's total disrespect to another culture - these buffoons with a bully pulpit do serious damage to this nation in the world view.
and we wonder why other cultures "hate" us.... duh!
Russ Feingold for President, 2008
by edrie on Sat Jan 21, 2006 at 02:02:31 AM PST
[ Parent | Reply to This ]
before i elucidate on that comment, perhaps i should clear up one issue: i am a 60+ female, aging and wrinkled - though not petrified in mind and definitely not a worm.
that said, i stand by my comment describing imus and his employee. first of all, imus IS an aging talk show host - i am from new york and remember him when he first began. he has not taken to aging gracefully - he has attempted to retain a hold on that ellusive youth that long since left him by the wayside. (aging does that, btw!) he dresses, speaks and behaves as though he were still living in the 80's. he is fighting the aging process with a vengeance and he is losing. unfortunately, he is regressing to a purile and immature caricature of himself. he is offensive, crude and abrasive in a bigoted and self-serving manner.
my point here is simple.
respecting age does not mean denying it. respecting age does not mean masking it. respecting age means embracing the wisdom and life experience gained by LIVING it!. however, aging does not automatically mean that one is entitled to respect - that has to be earned! all the plastic surgury in the world will not make barbara walters "young" - all the long hair and 16 year old behavior won't give imus back his youth! age is an inevitable part of all of our lives unless we endure the undesirable situation of dying young.
now let's look at my use of the term petrified. imus is petrified in his intellectual perception of the world. he has parsed his intellect for ratings. he has not become enlightened due to age - he has become stagnated due to his denial of it in his quest for fame! he is petrified in his view of other cultures. he is petrified in his behavior - he is locked in stone in his bigotry, by his purile behavior, in his lack of maturity.
as for impotence - please note the definition of "impotent":
impotent
1 a : not potent : lacking in power, strength, or vigor : HELPLESS
b : unable to have sexual intercourse because of erectile dysfunction; broadly : STERILE -- usually used of males
2 obsolete : incapable of self-restraint : UNGOVERNABLE
- impotent noun
- im·po·tent·ly adverb
please note the first definition. it is not of a sexual nature. it is not an "age" definition. it is a descriptive of power. also, if you notice the colloquial form, imus definitely is incapable of self-restraint - which is a descriptive of a child, immature and not developed.
as for worm - that stands on its on - imus is a non-vertebrate low form of life with little redeeming features. age or not, he is pathetic.
i regret that you so quickly lept to the conclusion that my description of imus had to do with his "age".
had you searched on my diaries, you would have found this is not the first time i have raged against this pathetic creature over this specific incident (arafat's funeral). i believe strongly in holding people accountable for their actions. that is why i again referenced the behavior of imus and his lackey on this site. [and, to some extent, why i have taken the time to answer your blog post.]
as for your blog, i note that you have suffered previous discrimination because of your age, as have i. i also deduct from reading your diary that i am probably old enough to be YOUR parent!
you have stated
Though age is an element, it needs not to be, nor should it be a distraction to the appreciation of a person.
i suggest that it is also not an excuse for inappropriate behavior!
i rarely rant and label any individual - i attempt to understand the other person's position and how he or she arrived at that frame of mind. then, if i disagree, i attempt to dissuade them of those beliefs based on fact and sound argument.
however, i AM intolerant of bigots, fools and idiots - especially those with the capability of spewing their bile to large numbers of listeners/viewers. imus and his lackey fall into this category and i refuse to give him a pass out of deference due to the total number of years he has existed. age, to be respected, must earn that respect. period!
all said, i now hope that the next time you read one of my comments, or that of any other poster, you will take the time to ask for an explanation rather than leaping that chasm of confusion that might cause you or you readers to reach a totally inaccurate conclusion as to my intent.
next time, if you aren't clear on why a comment or opinion was posted, all i ask of you is that you ask as to its origins rather than disparage the intent of both the poster and the site on which i am posting!
furthermore, dailykos has absolutely nothing to do with my opinions - i am certainly old enough to form them on my own! nor should any site to which i post be held accountable for my views. the views i hold and state are solely my own!
simply extracting a phrase because it suits a premise does not serve you, me or your readers well.
and, one last comment - on your comment:
Incensed I was, but I didn't say anything like that. Why? Because wisdom prevents it. You either have the sense to realize that someone who has been in the world twice as long as you might have something to contribute or you don't. Most are surprised at thirty to realize how much they still feel like that fifteen year old kid, yet so many cannot make the connection that this phenomenon never goes away. Age is the frame; the setting. Life is the art; the dialogue.
the next time, DO say something - say it with a smile, a joke, or kindness - but it is up to us to set the stage for the young ones coming up - if we don't, then who will? and, guess what! you'll feel better and so will that kid who had no clue until you shared a little of that "wisdom" with him/her!.
teach by doing - not by seething!
end of lecture.
edrie blackwelder
poster: dailykos
my apologies, part of the dailykos quote was erased due to my keyboard being flakey - here it is in its entirity...
the absolute last time i listened to (none / 1)
those human feces was during arafat's funeral - where they laughed and hooted it up with their pathetic garbage commentary.
don't listen - never will - won't pollute my ears and eyes with either aging petrified impotent worms...
don't get me started............
going to go wash out my eyes now for just reading their names.
Russ Feingold for President, 2008
by edrie on Fri Jan 20, 2006 at 06:22:52 PM PST
You can't say Imus is doing "real harm" from his bully pulpit in one paragraph, and then have me believe that what was meant by the "impotent" in "aging petrified impotent worms" was a description of his powerlessness.
I don't think much of Imus and his show, to be sure. That was never my point.
As to people deserving one's respect: Yes, you do owe someone respect before they have earned it. Start there, and work backward if necessary.
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