Le Sequoit

Intelligent Design, My Eye

I have to admit, I do have qualms accepting carte blanche evolution as it is described to me. Without my having given much deep thought to the algorithmic reality of such a process, intuition suggests that an awful lot seems to have gotten done in the way of species' development in a difficultly comprehended amount of time. If I, deeply agnostic, have a hard time with this, is it easy to see how readily believers can be turned from Darwin's "satanic" notion to alternative "theory", significantly to that of Intelligent Design.

It still a decently big leap, but if the self-appointed angels of the Lord call "jump!" it doesn't matter how far, the flock will do it. Religion has always led humanity off on some strange tangents, the happiest result of which is that such behavior remains harmless and the flock is well enough off the beaten path so as not to impede progress for the rest of us.

That's all fine and good, until a time when conservatism takes such a deep hold on society that fundamental religion becomes viable as a means of control.

And so your local angel on up to George II, the Crusader, clamor for the resurrection of the theory, "Adam beget Cain, who beget Gandhi, who beget Iggy Pop." Let us teach creationism and evolution side by side.

The evidence for creationism? A strangely convoluted text. And faith.

So knowledge is to be this strange synthesis of wisdom and faith, and if this seems loony to you just remember:

God created man in his own image. In God's image he created
him; male and female he created them.

Maybe God couldn't see so well, cuz these eyes he gave us are for crap. Eagles' eyes can zoom in and out with far greater field of vision. Octopuses' eyes have photoreceptors facing the light source while ours face backwards on a precariously placed retina, an arrangement that cost my little Hun's insurance company about $45,000 before the doctors basically gave up and welded the retina on with lasers.

I hit the golf ball farther than I can see it, but also need prismatic readers to focus at two feet, because at 45 the muscles that bend my eyes were already tiring. If I stand for too long my back gets sore, leading me to understand why this imaged God seems to be such a crabass.

Why hasn't God stepped in and done something about the fact that we have managed to figure out how to live much longer than our design seems to have been maximized for?

Maybe God got cancer and died.

Maybe he had Alzheimer's already when he created us.

At any rate, I'm not all that impressed with the design effort, which is, I guess, why they don't call it Supremely Intelligent Design. It doesn't seem like we're aiming all that high here, but hey, It's good enough for the masses.

Knock off all that science stuff, just gives people ideas. Keep it simple, stupid. Now off you go, proles.

Arbeit Macht Frei

posted by sequoit @ 12:43 PM