Le Sequoit

Darling, Did You Remember to Stick the Kids' Heads in the Sand?

This morning WPR took a hour break from the Schiavo case—on which I refuse to comment—and had Time magazine’s media critic James Poniewozik discussing the pros and cons of censorship of American television.

This topic has enough absurdity to catch my interest, so I found myself listening along. As the show wound toward the time for callers-in I knew they would be out there in the meticulously eclectic splendor of their refurbished Victorian kitchens, sipping from their fourth cup of half-caf coffee and staring at the faces of their radios. All across this frozen tundra of the second day of Spring in Wisconsin I saw home schooling taking a little break as the call to arms was answered by one enseignant de jour after another. All the producer had to do was close her eyes and hit any button and here it was:

We don’t have cable in our home.

Of course you don’t. Why would you want to see The Daily Show? Aaron Brown’s Nightly Report? National Geographic? What possible good could come from Turner Classic Movies or BBC America or high definition images of the Serenghetti on Discovery? What sane person would let their children sample the cinema of the Sundance Channel or IFC? Who would want to relive Mazerowski’s home run or Nicklaus winning his sixth Masters? Imagine the waste of time catching authors’ interviews or our democracy in action on CSpan!

Alas, our children did not benefit from such untelevisionary thinking and, as one goes off to law school and two Big Ten Universities are bidding for the other’s graduate study, it is with great shame that I admit that we let them watch Dangermouse and You Can’t Do That on Television.

One, in fact, insisted that he could work better with the TV on, and though I was doubtful at first I have to admit that after the first ten years or so of straight A’s I seemed to lose my enthusiasm for rebuttal.

The other day (a very strange expression) I was cooking pork chops. Very good center cut pork chops. Get the skillet about as hot as you can and sear ‘em hard on both sides in a little garlic salt, slow ‘em down and pour a few drops of Worcestershire sauce and maybe some white cooking wine or Port in with some minced onion, turn after a couple of minutes, a little sage and pepper on top and DO NOT overcook them.

Where was I?

Ah yes, so I was saying to my little Hun as I washed the essence of raw pork off my hands, “We should have a soap dispenser in the kitchen, some anti-bacterial for the hands so I don’t have to touch all these things with my piggy juice.”

To which my Magyar magpie responded, “They say not to use so much anti-bacterial soap.”

“Right as rain,” I realized.

All that protection wouldn't stave off the inevitable.

Ultimately it would only lower my resistance.

posted by sequoit @ 11:00 PM