Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is.    The Honorable Governor of Texas, George W. Bush

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.    Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Darling, Did You Remember to Stick the Kids' Heads in the Sand?

This morning WPR took a hour break from the Schiavo case—on which I refuse to comment—and had Time magazine’s media critic James Poniewozik discussing the pros and cons of censorship of American television.

This topic has enough absurdity to catch my interest, so I found myself listening along. As the show wound toward the time for callers-in I knew they would be out there in the meticulously eclectic splendor of their refurbished Victorian kitchens, sipping from their fourth cup of half-caf coffee and staring at the faces of their radios. All across this frozen tundra of the second day of Spring in Wisconsin I saw home schooling taking a little break as the call to arms was answered by one enseignant de jour after another. All the producer had to do was close her eyes and hit any button and here it was:

We don’t have cable in our home.
Of course you don’t. Why would you want to see The Daily Show? Aaron Brown’s Nightly Report? National Geographic? What possible good could come from Turner Classic Movies or BBC America or high definition images of the Serenghetti on Discovery? What sane person would let their children sample the cinema of the Sundance Channel or IFC? Who would want to relive Mazerowski’s home run or Nicklaus winning his sixth Masters? Imagine the waste of time catching authors’ interviews or our democracy in action on CSpan!

Alas, our children did not benefit from such untelevisionary thinking and, as one goes off to law school and two Big Ten Universities are bidding for the other’s graduate study, it is with great shame that I admit that we let them watch Dangermouse and You Can’t Do That on Television.

One, in fact, insisted that he could work better with the TV on, and though I was doubtful at first I have to admit that after the first ten years or so of straight A’s I seemed to lose my enthusiasm for rebuttal.

The other day (a very strange expression) I was cooking pork chops. Very good center cut pork chops. Get the skillet about as hot as you can and sear ‘em hard on both sides in a little garlic salt, slow ‘em down and pour a few drops of Worcestershire sauce and maybe some white cooking wine or Port in with some minced onion, turn after a couple of minutes, a little sage and pepper on top and DO NOT overcook them.

Where was I?

Ah yes, so I was saying to my little Hun as I washed the essence of raw pork off my hands, “We should have a soap dispenser in the kitchen, some anti-bacterial for the hands so I don’t have to touch all these things with my piggy juice.”

To which my Magyar magpie responded, “They say not to use so much anti-bacterial soap.”

“Right as rain,” I realized.

All that protection wouldn't stave off the inevitable.

Ultimately it would only lower my resistance.

4 Comments:

At 1:11 PM, Blogger Bullock said...

NPR is struggling, I think to reach an audience, in part I think because they want so desperately to be sterile PC, and a counterbalance to the neocon talk shows.Maybe they should host a format called 'Uncommon Sense' and put Al Franken or better, Edward Abbey types on to comment on topics of contemporary media and modern conservation. (Ed is one of my heroes.)If you-the parent-don't want your gifted chidren to watch
ojectionable/sensationalist TV, then TURN IT OFF! Or, walk out of the room.Be a parent,for god's sake!I was watching a pretty graphic HBO show the other night with my 19 year old college daughter and she said, 'this is not me' or something to that effect and walked out of the room. Later, she said she din't care that I watched it, it just wasn't in her taste. Viewer discretion asserted by a discerning individual.
She didn't like pork chops either until last night when I whipped up a plateful off the barbie, dry-rubbed with herbs and cooked medium. No shoe leather chops for this boy.Another PC myth bites the dust.

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger sequoit said...

Thought I lost you there with my tirade over the bioneer innkeepers. I guess it's just hard for me to have any enthusiasm when it sure seems that the world will have a tough time surviving hundreds of millions of more people living the befouling lifestyle we so know and love.

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger Bullock said...

I don't much stomach the yupster/eco-capitalist crowd. I will pay a reasonable per diem for a guide to lead a small group of common interest outdoor enthusiasts, i.e. flyfishing, wilderness canoeing, etc. but you can leave the mesquite-braised quail breast stuffed with artichoke hearts back at the resort.
The wilderness areas in our country are still only used by less than 1% of the population and most of those want to be there, so are respectful of their environs.We literally pack out our own shit these days.
But, I'm with you, my old friend, on the liasse-faire attitude of the teeming, polluting masses. They or our children will, wake up too late wondering why they live in a toilet.A chemically scented, decorator-designed, user-friendly toilet but a toilet just the same.

After this beer, think I'll go outside and re-mark my territory.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger sequoit said...

You'd better go do that, I hear there are lots of Dung Republicans out there in the County of Orange.

 

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